Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
