We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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