THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
