I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
