i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
