I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
