only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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