So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
