hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
