I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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