do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
