I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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