Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize