i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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