i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
then he tried to convert me to islam
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
