You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm at about main and main street
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
