dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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