I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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