I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
