just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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