I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
