I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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