The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
