why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize