I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
