Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
