soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize