I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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