I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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