Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
