these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The uberlube is also flammable
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
