if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
