dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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