I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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