Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize