Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
