she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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