I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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