he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
honey bunches of taint.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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