Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
