even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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