Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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