We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just found a bag of teeth...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize