OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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