It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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