My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
