I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
