Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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