Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
