So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
