yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize