East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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