He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
