I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
