Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
