My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
