Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
