There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
