I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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