She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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