She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
nutella sex= disaster
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
