He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
