haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my sisters under your porch take her home
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
