He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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