Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wanna go halves on a baby?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
