I'm really into asian looking animals
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
