It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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