someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
