i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
