Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
