Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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