like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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