Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were trust falling into bushes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
