2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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