he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is classic penis vs brain.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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