If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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