i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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